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Maybe you are making an informed decision that this person works for you. It is also important to think and talk about this issue because in most cases, the brunt of the age difference is born by the woman.

She feels guilty for no reason and the man whom she may be equal to or may be better than on many counts, becomes this hero because he gave the ultimate sacrifice of marrying “apnay se baray umar ki aurat” (a woman older than himself).

If she is also divorced and widowed with children, then he is lauded for being azeem (great).

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We have already created a rough sketch of that person with a brief bio data in our heads. But it is important to realise that there is so much to a person that makes him or her “the” person, that in some areas one has to readjust one’s fantasies. But then someone special comes along and challenges everything you believed in and you are even willing to take chances you never thought you would because it… “Marry someone four years older than you beta” is what an aunty was caught saying to a 17-year-old. He would have already completed his education and would have a job by the time you complete your undergrad.

But in isolated cases, the brave ones think outside the box and sometimes make exceptions, like the couple I mentioned. I will on purpose avoid the word ‘compromise’ because that word has a negative ring to it. And bachi, you have a tendency to gain weight, so never marry someone your own age.” While those considerations are not entirely unfounded, they seem rather fickle when compared with more substantial things like chemistry, understanding and a shared vision.“I got a very nice proposal,” said a friend who was at a stage in life where she wanted to settle down in marriage. Most of us have an unsaid but set idea about how much the ideal age difference should be. The “boy” liked the “woman” very seriously it seemed. Her hair has begun to show scattered touches of salt and pepper and her husband recently asked what she would like to do on her 40 birthday so that he can start saving up. The age difference issue is definitely almost a stigma.When we like or choose someone as a life partner, what inevitably comes up is the social conditioning that we are subconsciously exposed to all our lives.Even people who are thought of as pragmatic and are led by their head, not heart, are influenced by a fantasy they nurse inside themselves.Conversations on family dining tables, Bollywood movies, observations, attending wedding ceremonies, things friends say…

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