about BDSM, dominance & submission, kink, power exchange. I told her nothing untrue, but I sharpened the edges of truth before striking her with it. I didn't think she deserved my care in that moment, but I knew to stop.
She described his treatment to me; none of it was terribly unusual, but it was brutal in its intensity. The strange truth is that along with power and punishment, abuse, too, can be sexualized.
Coping with mistreatment this way doesn't mean it's not damaging; any incident of abuse will require the attention of both partners, and time, to heal.
Many single subs overlook this phase, and expose themselves to unsavory characters claiming BDSM expertise after a brief online correspondence or phone conversation.
Single sub friends of mine have had bad experiences that they might have avoided had they vetted dom candidates more carefully. Your objective is information, but let him see that you're intrigued by him and want to know all about him.
Have you read how-to books or taken classes on BDSM? Most people have relationship needs they're unwilling to compromise on.
Also don't entertain the fantasy that either of you can change the other to solve deal-breaker issues. His relationships with people other than ex-partners may be telling.
But I suspect that sexualizing abuse committed in a kink context blunts its edge; isolated transgressions can be interpreted as moments of extreme weather, rather than crises that might precipitate a breakup.
We are interdependent creatures, yet we are selfish.
One was physically mistreated on a first date, another was stalked and had her car ransacked. Here then are some tips on the art of investigation... There are relatively few quality, single, monogamous doms in the world. And proceed at a relaxed pace, making space for him to query you about things. Politely disengage if the guy says any of: Address me as sir/master/daddy/etc.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating